It’s been a while since my last post. A lot has happened over the past six (6) months. I realized over the past few days that I really should have been sharing all of my accomplishments and roadblocks as I experienced them. But honestly, I just hadn’t found the time or energy to do so. Balancing business, the kids, the house, friends, health, fitness and everything else was just overwhelming. Let alone everything else that popped up along the way.
Something happened to me midyear that made me get my act together. For about a year, I really didn’t want to work anymore. I was burnt out. I stopped going to the office. Having been on my own and working since 15, I just couldn’t find the motivation. I lost interest in my business. I had just downsized and felt I had failed. I was never any good at failing. My 19 year old son didn’t want to go to college nor did he want to work. I had to do one of the hardest things I have ever done and tell my son he had to move out. The worst part was actually following through with it. It was doubtful my 17 year old son was going to graduate from high school. Wow, did I fail again as single mom too?
The boys had their own lives. They didn’t hang out with Mom anymore. I went from being with them all the time to trying to find reasons for them to spend time with me. I didn’t know what to do with myself. Yes, I was depressed and couldn’t find my way out. And the worse part about it is no one knew. I have always been good at putting a smile on my face, even when there was nothing to smile about.
I almost let myself hit rock bottom. I hadn’t felt like this since I was 15 and living on the streets. I had blown through my savings and realized my depression was probably affecting my kids. What kind of example was I setting for them? They always knew me as motivated, driven, strong and ready for anything type of a person. Had I failed them too? I could not fail them like my parents failed me.
Not having a lot of “true” friends and definitely no form of support from family, I knew I had to pull myself out of this. I forced myself to start going back into the office. I started attending the chapter meetings, seminars and networking events I use to attend. And then it all clicked. I control my destiny. I control my life, my present and my future. I always knew this but somehow I lost myself.
Now, about a year and a half after my initial fall, my business has picked up tremendously, I just spoke as an expert on a panel for first time (and I’ve always had stage fright), I finally founded and incorporated a non-profit organization (a lifelong dream), I realized that I was meant to serve in this life, I have come to terms with why I had gone through so many obstacles and tragedies in my life, I have found my motivation again, my now 21 year old just finished his first semester at a junior college with A’s and B’s, my now 19 year old, who did graduate high school last year, is considering going to college, and I am happier then I have been in a long time.
Stay tuned as I reminisce on how I was able to accomplish so much after wanting to throw in the towel. A lot can happen when you decide to take charge of your life, your present, and your destiny.